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Recognize Financial Strenghts and Weaknesses
If you're currently involved with someone and considering a serious commitment, or if you've never discussed your spending habits with your spouse or significant other, take some time to talk about your financial minarets. Identify your differences and spend some time planning how you want to handle them in your relationship. By dealing with your financial differences, you'll not only cut down on many arguments later in life, but you and your partner will become a united frugal front working toward common financial goals together.
So Sit down together and share details about the practical aspects of your personal money style. (lf you're already married, use this opportunity to reevaluate your current financial situation.) Ask yourselves, individually, the following questions and then compare answers:
Do I carry credit cards? How many? What kind: gas cards, department store cards, general credit cards? Do I pay the cards in full each month, or just the minimum payments?
Do I carry cash with me? How much? What do I use it for? How do I keep records of cash spent?
What does my credit history look like? Any debt problems, overdue bills, repossessions, bankruptcy filings, or late payments?
What sort of insurance coverage and financial contingency plans do l have for medical expenses and other emergencies?
Do I have a system for paying bills? What is it?
How do I keep track of receipts and any correlated paperwork?
Do I buy lunch at work every day or bring it from home?
Is recreational shopping a favorite pastime? What sort of limits, if any, do I set for my personal shopping sprees?
How do I decide to make a major purchase such as a car, new furniture, large appliances, or a home?
How much of my income do I save each month, and what sort of system do I use for saving money?
What is my philosophy about financially assisting elderly, disabled, or cash-strapped relatives?
Do I want (or want my spouse) to stay home after we have children?
Is tithing or regular philanthropic giving important to me?
How far in debt can I go and still feel comfortable?
You may find that your significant other is a spendthrift and you're a miser or vice versa - opposites tend to attract each other. I believe one reason opposites attract is that on some unconscious level, people are aware of their own weaknesses and shortcomings and know almost instinctively what they need to complete themselves. If you have trouble keeping to a written budget, you may choose a life partner whose greatest joy is keeping detailed written records of every flower growing in the yard or every penny spent on bubble gum by the kids - and you balance each other out in the process. Having differences is healthy, but I also know from experience that these differences can test your limits of grace and reason.
If you are the spend-a-holic in the relationship and are already convinced of the need for financial change in your life, the road ahead is much easier. Unfortunately, reforming a loved one from their spendthrift ways can be difficult and requires much tact. Don't
allow yourself to become adversarial with the spend-a-holic in your life. Instead, be reasonable and show how adopting frugal living habits can reduce outstanding consumer debt, free up money for fun activities such as vacations, and help to finance large future expenses such as buying a house or paying for your children's college tuition.
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